We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i will never coherently bang her
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
