listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
