It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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