Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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