I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
