I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
