we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
