Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
