I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
