She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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