That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
