Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
