He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think your dad took our porno
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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