I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
