Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
