if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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