Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
