I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's the barista slut.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
