I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
