No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
