after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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