Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
