what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
