is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Randomize
