he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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