i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
