roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
