You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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