just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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