Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I am midnight drunk by noon
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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