I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
