Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dick very happy bro
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
