so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just google imaged poop.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
