i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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