Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
