We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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