Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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