I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
