if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
