What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
