WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
