My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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