Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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