he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
