Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
