tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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