Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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