Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
