No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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