Umm I'm too high to move.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
