Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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